Marie Carvalho aka Sparkly Rabbit

The Drunk Grandma from New Hampshire

Since Marie Carvalho has mass reported my important journalism on X, it will be shared here, where it will be even more widely accessible.

Very thankful for the hard work of the Chester Police Department for keeping the roads safe from Marie “Sparkly Rabbit” Carvalho.

On October 4th, 2019, this dusty old hag didn’t just get pulled over, she straight-up crashed into a guardrail like the blackout drunk she is. Police arrived, multiple people were interviewed, and her toxicology levels came back double the legal limit.

Yes, Granny Balls was out here DUI’ing at full grandma speed.

This is the same Marie who spends her nights playing nursing home mafia boss online, threatening people, calling people pigs, while three wine boxes deep.

Double the legal limit? At her age? That’s not “having a little fun,” that’s somebody should’ve taken the keys AND the webcam away years ago.

The full police report is below:

And just a reminder, this woman called Jen’s job, threatened to call mine, has been trashing me nonstop for almost a month, calling me 5150, and saying the most disgusting shit about Nan — body-shaming her and everything else like the bitter, jealous fossil she is. The delusion is stronger than her BAC.

So next time Granny Balls starts crashing out on stream, just remember: this is the same hammered old bag who wrapped a car around a guardrail.

Put the wine down, take off the ugly headscarf, and go sit in the corner before you hurt someone else, Marie. Early onset dementia + heavy drinking = the walking disaster we all see every night.

The roads, the timeline, and basic human decency are all safer when Marie stays offline.

Stay toxic, Granny. Chester PD, we appreciate you.